Lessons from madame chic

 Polish Your Poise with Madame Chic: Lessons in Everyday Elegance - Scott, Jennifer L. (Surligner: 20; Note: 0)

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◆ Chapter 1: Madame Chic Knew the Power of Poise

▪ The woman who is stylish, self-assured, grounded, and poised. The woman who presents herself with grace and dignity, speaks elegantly, who lives every day as though it were a special gift. The woman with the air of mystery who cultivates her mind and seeks out the arts. The woman with the lovely home, who is not a slave to shopping. The woman who walks through her day as though she knows a delicious secret.

▪ poise is something that one works toward for the rest of one’s life

▪ You’d be surprised by the doors that will open for you when you employ even just a little bit of poise. People will want to help you. You’ll leave a good impression at job interviews. You will attract the right kind of romantic partner. You’ll be treated with respect. Poise is useful

▪ Getting the job you want or the promotion you’ve longed for is valuable. Attracting high-quality people into your life is valuable. Receiving help from others is valuable. These things elevate the quality of your life. When you practice cultivating poise on a daily basis, this valuable commodity will enrich your lif

▪ you are ready to reach your full potential; because you no longer wish to go through your life looking as if you don’t care about yourself, avoiding real connections with people and suffering from insecurities

▪ Take any film with Grace

Page 18 Kelly, Audrey Hepburn, or Cary Grant. Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Laurence Olivier, Vivien Leigh

▪ Classic actors with poise: ─── Audrey Hepburn Joan Fontaine Cary Grant Vivien Leigh Fred Astaire Ginger Rogers Grace Kelly

Page 20 Jimmy Stewart Katharine Hepburn Laurence Olivier Examples of modern actors with poise: ─── Andie MacDowell Angela Lansbury Audrey Tautou Catherine Deneuve Dame Helen Mirren Dame Maggie Smith Denzel Washington Meryl Streep Natalie Portman Pierce Brosnan Literary

▪ When you are alone and no one is watching, you are your true self, your most authentic. That’s why it’s the best time to cultivate poise and make changes in your life. If you decide to wear presentable pajamas to bed or not

◆ Chapter 2: The Empowerment of Style

▪ It makes me sad to see a beautiful woman (and I believe all women are beautiful!) wearing frumpy workout clothes day

▪ Loungewear is a nice term for ratty clothes we wear at home. I don’t believe in loungewear. This is because I believe that people should wear their outside clothes inside. I advocate looking presentable always,

▪ The minute one of your garments shows wear and tear, if you can’t mend it, then get rid of it.

▪ People who embrace their true style look comfortable and in turn make other people comfortable in their presence

▪ Make sure that you don’t make a purchase that doesn’t fall in line with your true style.

▪ If it’s not your true style and doesn’t fit in with the ten-item wardrobe you’ve cultivated, it has no place in your closet. Save your money and be patient

◆ Chapter 3: Presentable Clothes

▪ Poised people always strive to be presentably and appropriately dressed for every occasion

▪ closets full of clothes that we never wear tell us we are confused, that we have little self-control, that we have an issue with needing new things all the time, that we are lazy and don’t want to go through our clothes and donate the ones we don’t need. Not to be a total downer, but our overstuffed closets are filled not only with clothes but also with unresolved issues.

▪ Assess all of your clothes. Your instinct will tell you what needs to go. But if you need a rule, here it is: get rid of everything you haven’t worn in a year.

▪ Shoes Shoes see everything; there are no secrets we can keep from our shoes. —Alexander McCall Smith, The Double Comfort

▪ Choose to purchase quality over quantity. Clean, presentable shoes are so important

▪ It is so much better to have a few pairs of high-quality shoes that look great, feel comfortable, and last a long time,

▪ If you are wearing an open-toed shoe, make sure your feet are groomed and pleasant to look at.

▪ unshined shoes are the end of civilization.”

▪ Madame Chic wore classic, high-quality shoes and only

▪ Your sleepwear should be presentable!”

▪ In fact, I never saw her in her actual pajamas because that would have been inappropriate

▪ If you’re wearing especially revealing sleepwear, with sheer or thin fabric, it’s always a good idea to wear a dressing gown. Your children do not want to see Mommy in a sexy nightg

▪ Every woman should have one or more dressy outfits in the extras section of her closet. You could have a little black dress that is useful for any occasion

◆ Chapter 4: Glorious Grooming

▪ Whatever your hair is like, it should always look neat and clean, and it should be styled so that others can see your eyes and face

▪ When you see a poised woman, you notice her naturalness, her confidence, the way you feel at ease around her, that attractive quality that is rather magnetic. Poised women don’t look as if they are hiding something

▪ Feeling comfortable in their skin is a big part of that je ne sais quoi that poised people possess.

▪ Proper grooming is the necessary punctuation mark on our appearance. It communicates that we have the self-respect to treat and display ourselves with dignity. That we take the time to care. This attention to detail is an important component of poise.

◆ Chapter 5: Dapper Deportment

▪ If it helps, picture a string pulling your head up from its center. Pull the core muscles of your abdomen in. Tuck your pelvis in slightly. Straighten your back.

▪ When you walk as though gliding, your feet are light, your posture fluid, and your movements graceful. You can still walk with purpose and determination, but in an elegant manner

▪ When walking in a residential neighborhood, it’s polite to greet your neighbors with either a kind word, a nod, or a smile

▪ When you’re outside, take in the sights, breathe in the fresh air, and appreciate your neighborhood. Be very aware of your surroundings, relax, and enjoy yourself. Even if you’re just walking to run errands.

▪ When you are talking with someone, look into that person’s eyes not only as you are listening to the person, but also when you are talking to him or her. Remember to maintain steady breathing. The awkwardness will fade eventually, and you will begin to notice a very subtle power shift. You feel more powerful when you make eye contact with someone. It is truly liberating

▪ If you are poised and have good deportment, you are an open and accommodating member of society. We can sometimes get so caught up in our own heads that we behave in an impolite or antisocial way.

◆ Chapter 6: Charming Communication

▪ Good speech is a crucial component of poise. When you meet a well-spoken person, you instantly take note. That person sounds intelligent, levelheaded, and trustworthy. They have a certain je ne sais quoi. They appear to be straightforward and confident.

▪ When you commit to cleaning up your language, you might have to clean up the music you listen to and the entertainment you watch as well

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◆ Chapter 6: Charming Communication

▪ But commit to speaking clearly, intelligently, and with poise. Your excellent diction

Page 144 will take you very far

▪ Public Speaking 

▪ Stand up straight. Take a deep breath. Speak loudly and clearly with conviction. Make eye contact if appropriate. Own the space with your body. Don’t allow your body to stiffen up. Allow your hands and arms to flow gracefully as you talk. Use your entire body and don’t just be a talking head. When you are finished, don’t be cowed away. Stand there for a moment and soak in the glory of what you have just accomplished

▪ get comfortable in the space as quickly as possible. Act as if you belong there

▪ Let your words come out with strength and volume.

▪ Don’t make the speech about you; make it about what you can give

▪ We also guard what we post online. We don’t need to jump on Facebook and update our status for every triumph, milestone, mundane thing, complaint, or whimsy. We don’t need to share a close-up of our broken toe, for example. When we post about other people, we are sensitive. We don’t need to post endless pictures of our children.

▪ but we don’t need to share the intimate details of everyday life with hundreds of people we hardly know.

▪ We must remember that poise is in the pause. Pausing when agitated. Pausing when excited. Pausing before saying something that isn’t wise to say

◆ Chapter 7: Gracious with Guests

▪ Madame Chic never apologized for her house, her appearance, or her food. She accepted guests with confidence and warmth, only wanting to provide a memorable experience for them.

▪ A poised person’s ease and confidence in social situations puts others at ease.

▪ If people have traveled far to see you, you should offer them food and drink or, at the very least, a snack and a drink when they arrive.

▪ When it is not a mealtime, I put out a small plate of snacks, either tea biscuits or fruit or a

Page 188 bowl of nuts for them to nibble on. I never ask if they want these snacks because often people are too polite and don’t want you to go to any trouble for them

▪ Downton Abbey

▪ When someone invites you into their home, bringing an offering is a great way to show your gratitude.

▪ A poised hostess knows that her welcoming warmth will make her guests feel comfortable and at home. She invites guests over regularly to entertain. Her home is a place full of life, where people want to be.

◆ Chapter 8: Darling at Dinner

▪ Poised people do not need to get drunk to have a good time

◆ Chapter 9: Chez Vous and Beyond

▪ Get your home life in order and everything else can follow suit

▪ Make sure everything that you keep in your home is in top shape, contributes to the overall style of your home, and is of use.

▪ This is particularly apparent in bathroom cabinets. We will hold on to bottles with hardly any product in them, free samples, and old dusty candles. They must all go. If you never or rarely use it, seriously consider getting rid of it.

▪ If you have a garden, arrange to keep the landscaping tidy. If you only have a front porch or even just an apartment door, do not leave miscellaneous items outside. Sweep your front step often. Dispose of all trash as soon as possible.

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◆ Chapter 9: Chez Vous and Beyond

▪ Being a good listener at work shows you are a team player. In return you will be respected and people will listen to your points

▪ No visible tattoos or body piercings. If you work in a conservative environment, it is best to cover them up. Whether you

Page 223 like it or not, people will judge you for them, and you do not want them to hinder your chances of getting the job, promotion, or new account.

▪ strive to be yourself. There’s a reason you got this job in the

Page 226 first place. They like you and you are a great fit! Even if this is not your dream job, give it your best effort and wow them with your poise. Who knows where it will lead?

▪ Always present your authentic self. Never hide things or pretend to be someone you are not in order to impress a man

▪ Your intelligence and natural beauty is enough!

▪ Avoid expressing your emotions online or in texts. Be respectful of what you share about your new beau on social media

▪  Public Transport Etiquette 

▪ Do not eat food while in transit

◆ Chapter 10: Not Just a Pretty Face

▪ Cultivating your intelligence starts with choosing what you view and listen to

▪ Madame Chic took pride in everything that she did. She didn’t waste time griping about her lot in life. If she wanted to be doing something other than what she was doing, I would not have known

▪ Poised people embrace reality.

◆ Chapter 11: Poise and les Autres

▪ He who walks with the wise grows wise, but a companion of fools suffers harm. —Proverbs 13:20

▪ Poised people have rock-solid understanding that life has its twists and turns. They look at it all like a delicious adventure and a sporting challenge, one they wholeheartedly accept

▪ You are not striving for perfection. You continue to be very much imperfect, but you are going to give it your all because you have viewers and you matter.

▪ TELEVISION SHOWS WITH POISE

▪ Murder, She Wrote

▪ Cedar Cove: Judg

▪ Downton Abbey

▪ Agatha Christie’s Poirot

▪ Gigi (1958):

▪ Top Hat (1935

▪ To Catch a Thief (1955